Thursday, November 29, 2012

J.Crew New Arrivals vs. My Better Judgement

I got into an argument with My Better Judgement this morning over J.Crew's new arrivals.

Me: I like that! I still like to put birds on things!
MBJ: Have you bought a J.Crew Tee in the past year that has not developed holes under the arms?
Me: No.
MBJ: Do you want to risk having to throw away an $80.00 tee shirt after one wear?
Me: *sigh* No.
MBJ: And let's not forget that 4 years ago you could buy a tee like this for $45.00 that would not get holes in it. 
Me: I know, you're right.

Me: What a pretty color!
MBJ: What did we JUST discuss, like, 8 seconds ago in regards to J.Crew's tee shirts???

Me: What a beautiful tee! And it's silk, so no holes!
MBJ: And it costs $495.00! Are you on crack?
Me: Well, I could get it for 30% off today.
MBJ: Just stop. You'd hate yourself tomorrow.
Me: I know.

Fair Isle Ski Sweater

Me: See, this is a winter staple, I could wear this for years.
MBJ: I'm not going to argue with you on that. don't wear all of the sweaters you own now.
Me: We've talked about how much that bothers me.
MBJ: It's ok, you're not going to be in the Deep South forever. There will be other sweaters.

Me: Talk me out of buying this.
MBJ: I don't know if I can.
Me: It is ridiculously impractical, I can't wear a sweatshirt to work, even if it does cost $148.00.
MBJ: You can get it for 25% off if you add a pair of socks or something.
Me: You are really bad at this job.
MBJ: Sometimes I like to wear pretty clothes too, okay???

Boulevard Trench in Windowpane Wool

MBJ: You DO NOT need another coat.
Me: But I don't have any that are printed!
MBJ: Yes you do, remember the camel and red tartan Doncaster trench? Hanging in the closet in your parents' house because you knew you wouldn't get to wear it very much in GA?
Me: Oh.
MBJ: Yeah. Plus, look at that picture. That coat even makes the model look thick through the middle, so you know it would make you look like Mr. Staypuft. Is that what you want?
Me: *sigh* No, it's not.

Collection Sequin Feather Dress

Me: OMG.
MBJ: OMG. If you were cooler, you would totally have someplace to wear this dress over the holidays. Why are you so lame?
Me: Ok, now you're just being a bitch.
MBJ: Whatever, you can't afford it anyway.
Me: If it was a really special event, I'd buy it.
MBJ: It looks short-waisted.
Me: I'd buy a bigger size and get it fitted. Might as well if I was going to spend $1500.00 on a dress.
MBJ: A fabulous dress.
Me: Yes, it is a fabulous dress.
MBJ: I'm sorry for being a bitch before.
Me: Thanks, it's ok. Maybe someday I'll have an exciting reason to drop $1500.00 on a party dress.
MBJ: You'd better hurry, you're getting older and I don't think that saggy boobs go very well with sequins and maribou feathers.
Me: You're being a bitch again....


  1. It's funny because it's so true! MBJ is too domineering, I don't even get to click on the individual product page most of the time. Of course, she is a sucker for blue, pink and purple so I can usually win her over with color.

    Did you find anything that was worthy?

    Ooh, my number part of the verify word is 666. :P

    1. I ordered that damn sweatshirt. I can't find any reviews online yet so I'm willing to be the guinea pig for 25% off plus free shipping. It will probably be cheap and shapeless and I'll have to send it back (or I'll fall in love and have to live with the fact that I spent $111 on a sweatshirt).

      The "666" numbers always creep me out initially, but then I remember that Gregory Peck was in the original 1976 version of "The Omen". Then I think of Gregory Peck and it makes everything ok again ;)

  2. LOL! This made me giggle :) Totally relate!

    1. It's a universal struggle, I think. But sometimes MBJ will help a sister out by hanging up the "Out to Lunch" sign when I see something really cute ;)

  3. This made me laugh so hard, thank you!

    1. Happy to provide you with some laughs on a Thursday :)

  4. So funny! I have had so many of those convos! Hope you love the sweatshirt. Mr Staypuft...LOL

  5. LOL, Whitney! So true and so funny. Unfortunately I've had that conversation. ;)

    1. I wish I lived closer to a B&M store since MBJ tends to win the argument a lot more often when I can see things in person!

  6. Hahahaha this post is brilliant!

  7. Lol, this was awesome and eerily familiar!

    1. I think MBJ probably sounds the same for a lot of people, haha ;)

  8. Hilarious. MBJ is talking me out of the Collection Matte Sequin tee...which is somehow practical to me. Couldn't I wear it year round-with a skirt to the theater and jeans in the spring to a backyard BBQ - SERIOUSLY??!!! - who are you I kidding says MBJ :-)

  9. Dead on. I am only too ready to convince myself that I need to be prepared for events that may occur in a life I don't have at the moment... except of course as to the feather-bottom. Here, even I can't believe that even in Fantasy Land I'd need a feather-bottom. Just loved this.

    1. Thank you, Fred! Turns out that dress only goes up to a size 6 (online, anyway), so I can stop daydreaming since I'd probably have to order a 10 to fit my upper half properly. Oh well!

  10. Omg, this is hysterical!!! One for the books, indeed. Brilliance.

    MBJ, PLEASE keep reminding us about those holey tees!

    What is wrong w/J Crew & a $495 t-shirt. (rolls eyes)

    1. Thanks Gigi! The holey tees are just embarassing at this point.

      I would buy that silk tee if they would sell it to me for $125 and include the bag of sequins for me to sew on myself. I think that's reasonable ;)

  11. Whitney this is hilarious! Thanks for the big laugh!

  12. Oh I love it!!! I used to have those conversations with MBJ all the time.
    Strangely, JC of 2012 suddenly became boring and predictable, like a cliche of itself. Couple that with quality issues and me and MBJ just morphed into one.
    I am very proud of myself. Stay there ajc, you are in the right place honey.

    1. I totally get where you're coming from, ajc. Pre-2010 I can't EVER remember having to return a J.Crew item because of holes, pilling, or other weird defects like faulty zippers or crooked seams (or missing linings, wtf). But I've observed this across the board in the mid-priced mall stores that used to be my wardrobe go-to's. I haven't made a purchase from Banana Republic in years and I used to buy most of my work trousers/sweaters there, and Anthro's style just isn't "me" anymore at all. The low-end stores sell gross clothes, the high end stores are too's a weird time for fashion right now. Maybe I should learn to sew, haha.

  13. Late to the party, but I have to say that this post is brilliant!!! You hit the nail on the head for all of these. Haha!