If you're me, you are sitting at home alone with the dog because your boyfriend is a doctor and he's on call tonight, making sure that some 15-year-old doesn't die from drinking hand sanitizer since his friend's older brother couldn't steal a fake id (no really, kids are drinking hand sanitizer now). If you're me, here's what else you are doing:
You crack open one of the three bottles of wine that your boss gave you last week since he couldn't drink all of the wine that his friends sent him for Christmas. You are a total lightweight, so you are pretty much sauced after 2 glasses.
You decide to cook something fabulous (possibly containing wine) from your new Smitten Kitchen Cookbook, but then you see all of the Christmas gift food sitting on your counter top...
...and decide that you should probably try to eat that instead so that you can use your counter top sometime in the near future. It turns out that pizzelles and Chex Mix go nicely with a 2007 California Red. You then discover the leftover pizza in the fridge that your boyfriend wrapped up for you after he ate lunch today. You remember that you will not be able to kiss your boyfriend at midnight, and get sad. You eat the pizza and drink more wine.
You get tired of moping and decide that you should give yourself a pedicure. You are so impressed that you can paint your toenails while intoxicated that you text a picture to your friend:
You caption the picture "SO DRUNK BUT STILL THE BEST TONAIL PAINTER OF ALL TIME." She texts back, "Your perfection makes me sick." You reply "I LOVE YOU YOU R SUCH AGOOD FRIEND".
You want to listen to some music, so you open your iTunes account. You decide that you don't like any of your playlists, so you create a new one and name it "Not Pop" (even though 25% of these songs are labeled by iTunes as "Pop"). You dance around and sing this song to your dog while he looks at you like this:
You decide that you had better eat some more bread and start drinking more water if you don't want to spend the first day of the new year being grumpy and hungover.
Bring it, 2013. Happy New Year.